Justin Bieber Fans

When historians look back on our time, they will think of Justin Bieber not foremost as an artist or oddity, but as the 21st century’s foremost inciter of mass hysteria. From inspiring mob violence to mass acts of male vanity (grab the straightening iron, boys/boyish lesbians!), there was perhaps no more insane act of Bieber vigilantism than when a fan stole a water bottle sipped by the star and auctioned it off on TradeMe to the tune of $624. Though this crazy fan could be cast as simply a savvy business person, the same could not be said of the fan who shelled out 600 big ones for Justin Bieber’s backwash.

Rudolph Valentino Fans

Celebrity obsessers in 1926 may not have had e-bay and iPhones, but they knew how to make their presence known. Rudolph Valentino, the foremost sex symbol of the silent era, died at the peak of his career, leaving in his wake a string of ambiguously linked suicides. One involved a young mother trying to shoot herself and then being arrested for attempted self-murder — her body was discovered passed out in a pile of photos of Valentino. In an era where the only free time activities involved pole-sitting and watching various animals get electrocuted, the death of your favorite star probably did seem like the end of the world. So next time someone complains about the endless stream of interchangeable pop stars shat out by the industry, remind them that Justin Bieber saves lives.

Selena Fans

In a dark twist uncharacteristic of the lives of ‘90s pop superstars, Selena was killed by the president of her fan club. Though embezzlement and betrayal were factors in the case, accusations of lesbianism were also thrown in the mix by the time the story reached tabloids, making the 23-year-old singer’s murder prime television biopic material — especially after the future President of the United States declared an official “Selena Day” in honor of her death.

Tiffany Darwish Fans

One would think it takes a supernova of a performer to launch fans as monomaniacal and strange as to be pegged as subjects for a documentary. But it doesn’t. At least, not in the case of Tiffany Darwish and I Think We’re Alone Now, the film that documents her borderline stalker fans, each of which has their own shrine, and each of which has delusions that Tiffany is their destined mate. As sad as all of these other fan devotions are, it takes special kind of delusion to be obsessed with a celebrity who literally has a “Career Stall” category on Wikipedia.