Possibly the male star about whose bodily functions we know the most (why was Ronnie bleeding out of his asshole?), Jersey Shore’s spurned lover tops of the list of exemplary reality-television masculinity. During the continuous break-up session that was last season, his profound and ceaseless talk of souls rivals St. Augustine in vigor. In addition to being one of the most dramatic members of the house on the Shore, Ron Ron boasts a namesake drink that is now the basis of certain specialized cocktails. Dan Ackroyd and his limited-edition Crystal Skull Vodka now have some competition.
